Lexus CT

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Lexus CT

(caranddriver.com)

The CT is a Prius wearing a Tartan plaid shirt. The main difference is that the Prius is driven by quinoa and sandal enthusiasts (and strangely, suburban families) that don't mind toxic, toxic cadmium in their cars, whereas the CT driver, is a bit of a mystery. From what I can deduce, the CT is driven by teff-ingesting golfers. Apparantley this is a very broad segment of the market, because I see these things everywhere!

The CT is quite underpowered for 2017. The C200h F-sport makes 134 horsepower and it takes 10.6 seconds to get to 60. When cars are that slow nowadays, it might actually become dangerous when merging onto the highway.

Somehow, the CT gets "40" highway MPG, but the Prius gets "50" mpg. I know those figures are probably fudged, but how can a badge engineered version of the same car get 10 less MPG? I looked into this, and apparantley the CT uses an older version of the Prius hybrid drive. Generally, if I'm going to be spending $32,000 on a new car, I would prefer it to be from this century!

The transmission appears to be of similar quality as the rest of the car. It is a CVT, which means that it essentially has infinite gear ratios. This seems good for fuel efficiency and get-up-and-go, but really, CVT's end up sounding like the New York Stock Exchange, but all the people replaced with cows (MoooOOOOooMMoooooooMOOOOO), as well as breaking a lot.

So, the Lexus CT. Driven by golf and non-GMO free range organic quinoa enthusiasts, under powered, under fuel-efficiency'd, and wonky transmisson'd.

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Chevrolet Trax

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Chevrolet Trax

(caranddriver.com)

To start, the Trax has one of the worst names out there, amongst "Kicks" or "Gremlin". I doubt the Trax can actually manage any of the tracks it is eponimously named for, as it has a minimum ground clearance (the clearance of the lowest part on the car) of only 6 inches. To compare, a Challenger SRT , which is a low-slung muscle car, has a minimum ground clearance of 5 inches. The power helps the Chevrolet about as much as the dismal ground clearance.

The power comes from a 1.4 turbo four-pot. It creates 138 horsepower, not nearly enough to propell its bloated features around. This fact is fairly evident in the 0-60 time of 9.3 seconds. This would have been acceptable just ten years ago,but nowadays, it would be difficult to merge on the highway. Also, because the Trax is basically a Cruze that eats too much ice cream, the gas mileage goes down from highway 37 mpg for the Cruze, down to 33 for the Trax. All this is to make it look like the Trax is a high-riding off roader.

Also, on the note of eating too much ice cream, the Trax weighs 3151 pounds. Actual pounds. At times like these, I wonder such things as: "Is it possible to put a car on a diet?" and "Was lead accidently ordered for the body panels instead of steel?".

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Nissan Sentra

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Nissan Sentra


(image credit: Nissan)


To start, the Nissan Sentra may seem like a bit of a diamond in the rough. It looks like a $19,000 car in a world where $24,000 seems like an acceptable starting price for a midsize sedan. The Sentra most certainly costs $19,000, but it isn't really a car. It's a $19,000 dollar toaster-in-the-rough. Car and Driver reports that it is "painfully mediocre" and that "the days of truly great small Nissans have gone". Overall, C&D really did not like the sad little box (neither do I), giving it a report card of 1.5 out of 5 stars.

For a world where cars are so much faster then they were 10 years ago, the Sentra doesn't really keep up with the herd because it has a 0-60 time of 9.5 seconds. This would be very acceptable in the '90s, '80s, and would actually be considered quick in the 70's and 60's, but we live in 2017, where 9.5 seconds from 0-60 is slow. Really slow. Not-being-able-to-merge-on-the-highway-slow. Those 9.5 seconds are suprisingly fast, considering it makes 130 horsepower.

So, the Sentra. A boring toaster, a let down to the other Nissans and Datsuns like the Hakosuka, and has a Citröen level of power.

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Citroen 2CV

time for another post, here it is,

The Cíṫȑöĕñ 2CV! (if anyone can tell me how to pronounce Citröen with all the extra diacritics, he/she will be rewarded with 400 internet points!!)

(credit: bbc.co.uk)

Wait--no--sorry, it's easy to get confused, the 2CV's actually this one:

                    
(credit: Mecum Auctions)                                      

To start, the looks, as I just pointed out, are froggish (yay! that's a dictionary word!!). This may be because the 2CV was designed on a shoestring budget in the early 30's (and was outdated then), was then hidden from the Nazis when France surrendered during WWII, then brought back to life in 1949. The Boîte inutile was produced from 1949 to 1990! How did this thing manage a production run of 41
years,  but the Top Gear "Eagle-Hammerhead iThrust" only manage a production run of a single car? 
Both were made from some sheet metal and shelving bits lying around the shop!

The performance was about as good as the body. A whole 12 stampeding, champing-at-the-bit
horsepower propelled the Citröen around via a boxer-2 engine. My ride-on mower makes twice that, and I'm pretty sure if I removed the limiter, I could go the top speed of 52 m.p.h. 

I'm actually staggered that I was able to write this much, and come up with this many synonyms for this monstrosity.

So, the 2CV. Froggish, outdated, somehow had a production run of 41 years, and REALLY, REALLY slow.

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Chevrolet Citation

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Chevrolet Citation


(public domain)

Well, to start, the Citation is probably the most boring-ly styled car ever. It seems like the designers just drew a "two box" sedan, added the hatch at the back to ruin the little styling features it had, then drew the little curved window line at the back to make it seem like they tried. Needless to say, I would issue the designers a citation.

The engines are just as bad as the looks. One of the engines is the famed Iron Duke, the same engine that powers the now-being-phased-out mail truck. It makes an earth-rending 90 horsepower! The other engines aren't much better, either. The most powerful is a 130 somewhat-bored-horse-containing LB6 V6. It had multi-port fuel injection, which was advanced-ish for '85, but a 2.8 liter engine making 130 horsepower, even in '85, was pretty bad.

The way that power was put down wasn't exactly top-notch either. It was front wheel drive, which is farily normal today, but when it came out in 1980, it was revolutionary. However, the drivetrain was made to the same standards as one of those fake Rolexes.

It also seems that someone stole the regular wheels, then put space savers on, and then put on the hubcaps and painted white trim on the tires to make it seem like nothing was stolen. Hang on, I just got word that that was how they came from the factory! I can't beleive someone put pizza cutters on the hubs.


So, the Citation, mail-truck power, looks that are comparable to a pile of bricks, the drivetrain is comparable to one of those clotheslines that has a crank on it, and the wheels are a little bit narrower that the width of a human hair.

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Geo Tracker

time for another post, here it is,

The Geo Tracker (The first generation. The second generation is equally bad.)



(source: public domain)

Well, the Tracker just looks sad. I think the Tracker might be sad because of its horribe name! It may also be sad because it has a maximum of 96 horsepower(71.6 kW). The 1.6 liter L01 four-banger (the most powerful engine!) depressivley pulls the Tracker from 0-60 M.P.H. (0-97 k/h) in 13.8 seconds! To give you an idea of how long that takes, read this next bit out loud: battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship battleship. Now the Tracker has hit 60 mph (97 k/h), and is on its way to an earth-rending top speed of... ~80 mph, according to Geo enthusiasts.

Ok, back to the sad looks. It seems like a Ford Bronco was accidentley dry- cleaned, then was melted slightly, removing all of those sharp, good looking body lines.

Also, because of how (relativley) high the definetley-not-a-Suzuki rides, and because the wheelbase is so short, it has a tendancy to flip! So, not only does it rattle, bang, and clatter at 60 mph, but, if you need to say, turn, it will roll!

So, the Geo Tracker. Looks sad, goes slow, makes noise, and kills you!

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Sorry this post took a long time.

Quirkiest Car Ever

'bout time for a DIFFERENT post, here it is,

I thought I should do a bit more of an audience focused post this week. So, I ask you, fanbase,

What is The Quirkiest Car Ever Made?

I propose the Meshershmitt Tiger. After World War II ended, Mesherschmitt were not allowed to make figher planes, for obvious reasons. It used a canopy from the more famous kind of Meshershmitt, the WWII German airplane manufacturer. That's not even the best part. Because it was powered by a 2-cycle engine, to get reverse, you have to twist the key the other way, and it is possible to get all the gears going backwards! Here is a picture of the little car with a VERY VERY chequered past:


(credit: carpixx.com)

What do you think? Post your answer in the comments!