'bout time for 'nuther post, here it is,
The Mitsubishi Outlander
Well, it's a crossover, and as many long time readers of my blog will know, it is my duty to rid the world of these S.P.C.V.'s (soccer practice conveyance vehicles).
On the matter of looks, the Outlander definitely falls short, in my opinion. For instance, I'm pretty sure that the front grille will have to force Honda to go four-blade with the CR-V to continue to be a competitor (Toyota has already done it with the new Camry, I mean just look at it). Also, the Outlander appears to be the only car that I know of that has an angry looking tailgate. I'm wondering now if the tailgate is angry for being on such a bad looking car.
On the matter of looks, the Outlander definitely falls short, in my opinion. For instance, I'm pretty sure that the front grille will have to force Honda to go four-blade with the CR-V to continue to be a competitor (Toyota has already done it with the new Camry, I mean just look at it). Also, the Outlander appears to be the only car that I know of that has an angry looking tailgate. I'm wondering now if the tailgate is angry for being on such a bad looking car.
The bad looking car is also a slow one. The 3.0 V-6 (which isn't even the base trim) makes an abysmal 224 horsepower, which is not nearly enough to lug its 3,500 pound bulk around. As a consequence, the Outlander does 0-60 in 7.6 seconds. That used to be a respectable speed for cars not that long ago, but in 2018, you might find it a bit difficult to merge. Also, it does the quarter mile in 16 seconds exactly with a trap speed of 89 mph. To run this car in the quarter, it takes an actual lifetime. Also, the Outlander drinks premium fuel. It is not deserving of the distilled essence of greatness that is premium gasoline!
The transmisson is on-par with the other components (meaning it's sub-par. (this is getting confusing (hey, look, nested parenthesies! (I should stop this before it gets out of control (Nope, too late (great, now I'm out of ideas to end this joke with)))))). It is a CVT, which is a system that lets the driver essentially have infinite gears. It sounds great, but in reality, it breaks a lot, and makes a noise in equivalance to a sew-and-vac run by cows.
So, the Outlander. A crossover with questionable looks, A questionable engine that drinks fuel that should be reserved for Challengers and Koenigseggeggegg3gggegs, and a transmission that will not respond to your questions, because it is a cow.
Do you have any thoughts about cats/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!
