Lexus ES Hybrid

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Lexus ES

(https://www.caranddriver.com/)

Well, look at it. It is a beige Lexus, the epitome of boring. Also, the facets and "rakishness" of the body make it seem a bit like it's trying too hard to be cool. The grille seems to be straining for krill, which doesn't really add to the already short list of good styling components. On the same note, the roof is pretty bad. It is colo(u)red black, to achieve an effect that I assume is to make it look like the glass is all one piece. It's my reckoning that the ES is the first car that's going bald.

The Lexus E.U. (FIFY (name your car something that's memorable)) isn't fast, either. It makes 268 horsepower which seems like it would be enough, but it goes from 0-60 in 8 seconds and wheezes to a top speed of 116 miles per hour. According to Car and Driver the 2017 hybrid doesn't stack up well to other cars when compared by fuel economy. Turns out that the Lexus N.H. hybrid gets 4 mpg less than the BMW 330i, distinctly non-hybrid.

So, the <em></em>. It's trying hard to be cool, eating small crustaceans, and going bald. Also, it's really slow.

Super Special Awesomeness Extra Thing!

Do you have any thoughts about cats/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

Contest!

'bout time for another post, here it is,
What Feature on Modern Cars Do You Find Annoying?

This is a competition for you, the readers to participate in. Please comment in your suggestions, and I will compile the ones I find funniest/most interesting and post them later.

The thing that aggravates me most in modern cars is the "infotainment screen". I really like computers! They help me to do stuff like not get lost, and provide all the entertainment I could possibly need. They are fantastic in theory but, invariably, they are always TERRIBLE (infotainment screens, not computers. although some of those are pretty terrible too.)! Either too big or too small, not sensitive enough or much too sensitive, the infotainment (yes, dictionary word. )(:) screen always seems to not work in the manner in which you would like it to.

So, what do you think? Answer in the comments below!

Other Cartoon

Due to the overwhelming popularity of the previous cartoon I posted, I drew another!

Cartoon

If you click the picture it gets bigger! Wonders of the Interwebs!!

Mitsubishi Outlander

'bout time for 'nuther post, here it is,

The Mitsubishi Outlander

(Mitsubishi)

Well, it's a crossover, and as many long time readers of my blog will know, it is my duty to rid the world of these S.P.C.V.'s (soccer practice conveyance vehicles).

On the matter of looks, the Outlander definitely falls short, in my opinion. For instance, I'm pretty sure that the front grille will have to force Honda to go four-blade with the CR-V to continue to be a competitor (Toyota has already done it with the new Camry, I mean just look at it). Also, the Outlander appears to be the only car that I know of that has an angry looking tailgate. I'm wondering now if the tailgate is angry for being on such a bad looking car.

The bad looking car is also a slow one. The 3.0 V-6 (which isn't even the base trim) makes an abysmal 224 horsepower, which is not nearly enough to lug its 3,500 pound bulk around. As a consequence, the Outlander does 0-60 in 7.6 seconds. That used to be a respectable speed for cars not that long ago, but in 2018, you might find it a bit difficult to merge. Also, it does the quarter mile in 16 seconds exactly with a trap speed of 89 mph. To run this car in the quarter, it takes an actual lifetime. Also, the Outlander drinks premium fuel. It is not deserving of the distilled essence of greatness that is premium gasoline!

The transmisson is on-par with the other components (meaning it's sub-par. (this is getting confusing (hey, look, nested parenthesies! (I should stop this before it gets out of control (Nope, too late (great, now I'm out of ideas to end this joke with)))))). It is a CVT, which is a system that lets the driver essentially have infinite gears. It sounds great, but in reality, it breaks a lot, and makes a noise in equivalance to a sew-and-vac run by cows.

So, the Outlander. A crossover with questionable looks, A questionable engine that drinks fuel that should be reserved for Challengers and Koenigseggeggegg3gggegs, and a transmission that will not respond to your questions, because it is a cow.

Do you have any thoughts about cats/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!

What's The Worst Mod?

'bout time for another post, here it is,


(github.com)

This isn't the usual post. Today, I have a question to pose to you, the readers. The question (in question) is:

What's The Worst Modification on The Road Today?

I look forward to replying to your answers in the comments!

(by the way, if you like this kind of post, I could do them on a semi-regular basis)

Nissan Versa Note

'bout time for another post, here it is,

The Nissan Versa Note

(credit: consumerreports.com)

To start, the Versa Note looks like that bean thing in Chicago, with swirly chair casters underneath it. It also appears to be the first car in existance that wears braces. The engine works as well as the body looks.

The engine makes a grand total of 109 horsepower. This is approximatley the power my fingers use to strike these keys to write this sentence. The 109 tired-out stallions reluctantly drag the Note frome 0-60 in 9.9 seconds. According to the interwebs, I can tie a tie faster than the Note can get up to (what you are supposed to do but no-one does on the) highway speed! Moving down the powertrain, the transmission is equally bad -if not worse- than the engine.

One of the two offered transmissions is a CVT. A CVT is pretty much a belt streched between two cones. It, in theory, is a good idea but -rather like a Tesla- it breaks all the time and is much louder than advertised. The 5-speed isn't great, either. Car and Driver said that "[the 5-speed] elicted a distinct 'meh'." The tires that get (barely) spun by the transmission are of similar quality as the rest of the car toaster.

The Versa sits on are Bridgestone Ecopia's all round. They are tuned for low rolling-resistance rather than grip. This makes the Versa run the skidpad at a not-perticulary-great .8 g, and it took a whopping 188 feet to stop from 60 mph.

So, the Versa Note. A silly name, a motorized jelly-bean wearing LEGO® tires and uses a rather noisy method of power conversion.

Do you have any thoughts about cars/cats? What drives you crazy? One post a week so stay tuned!